A Maried Black Couple Explains: 3 Things Women & Men Want For Relationship Magic

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lambsEveryone has wants, every single one of us has dreamed about that perfect guy or that perfect girl.  Many of us have long, long lists of must haves.  But what is it we really want?  What will make us say yes “He is the One!” or “There goes my future wife!”

For the past nine years, we have been blessed to have had thousands of couples visit the theater, enjoy and be moved by Platanos Y Collard Greens, our hilarious tale of two college students who fall in love, until mom finds out and has a heart attack! We’ve had the enormous pleasure of watching the audience laugh till it hurts and of having them tell us how it leaves them feeling triumphant, knowing that love conquers all.

Read:WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO: Love & Relationships In The African American Community

Over the years when people have found out that we work together twenty-four seven and that we have not only not killed each other, but that our love has grown stronger, they demand to know our secrets. The result is our much loved relationship guide: Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving Together.  We have been thrilled by the readers’ response. Many people have said, “If people read this book, there would never be another divorce or breakup!” We are cheerleaders for love, and our mission is to spread the message of love and happiness by sharing some of the things we’ve learned so that everyone can live and love happily.

He Says: What Men Want

Men want to be friends and lovers too

I know it’s a lot to ask ladies, but men are inconveniently demanding that way. We want a woman who we can share our interest with, from our adult aspirations (like wanting to open a business) to our hobbies (whether it be Hip Hop Karaoke or going to the movies or watching the NBA Finals (and feigning enough interest to let us talk strategy and complain about the refereesJ). In short, we want a friend. Jamillah and I are friends and lovers. In fact, Jamillah is my best friend. Now, I know that she doesn’t like basketball as fanatically as me, but I love that we can go to a Knicks game together and cheer a last second game winning shot as happened the last time we went! I know that she’s not into comic books like me, but I love that for Valentine’s Day she bought me a Green Lantern ring (not that I’m wearing it in publicJ). I also know that it’s not a one-way street. It’s about balance and I have to be open to being interested in things that she’s likes as well. For example, without Jamillah, I wouldn’t even know that HGTV existed (for all you guys (or for all the uninitiated– that’s Home and Garden Television), but the truth is, now we’re both fans of House Hunters, and we both love Top Chef. She’s trying to get me into the Housewives shows, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

Read:Get Brave And Embrace Opportunity

 Men want a woman who they can share laughs with

I always knew that laughter was important in any relationship, but now I appreciate even more how important it is that you share a sense of humor. I’m a very serious person, but I like to laugh, every day, all day. Laughter can brighten up any day and lighten up those moments when you forget something or when you don’t always present the best you. Keeping each other laughing is essential to helping couples be friends and lovers. For Jamillah and me, even though we are business partners, it’s great when we get to be silly together! Like when on the spur of the moment we decided to go ice skating together fully knowing that neither of us had ever put on a pair of skates before, and secretly wondering which one would chicken out first. And even though we were holding on to the rail for dear life, we had a great time making fun of each other as we fought the ice to stay upright and not to fall down and break our necks. Plus laughter is attractive. Jamillah is a natural beauty, but when she’s laughing, her smile is so beautiful, that I’m just wrapped around her finger, and there’s nowhere I would rather be.

Men want a woman who helps us believe in our dreams

I’m a playwright, so it’s only natural that I’m a dreamer. Most people and especially men are dreamers. When we are little boys we have no shame in sharing our dreams, whether it’s that one day we are going to grow up and be better than Michael Jordan or that we are going to be the youngest President ever. As we grow up, however, we slowly become afraid to share our dreams. When we first meet someone who we are excited about, and who inspires us, we find ourselves sharing our dreams again. It feels really amazing when a woman surprises us by doing something that makes us realize that not only is someone listening, but that they are actually actively helping to bring our dreams to reality.

When we first met, Jamillah and I hung on each other’s every word, and we still do. Last Valentine’s Day we were walking around our neighborhood when I noticed that we were taking a long exaggerated route. To my surprise we ended up at a studio where they teach an “Absolute Beginners” Capoeira class. I had been talking about wanting to take a class for a long time, but I hadn’t signed up. What I didn’t realize was that Jamillah had heard me and had taken concrete steps to get me started by signing me up for the class. I love to run my mouth, but Jamillah is a doer.  It’s a beautiful thing when she inspires me to not only dream about my dreams but to make them come to life.

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